The Leader’s Choice:
From Obligation to Opportunity
 by Mark Sanborn, CSP, CPAE
 
The phone is ringing--again, there's yet another meeting to attend (it started five minutes ago), someone at the door needs your attention right now, and your pager is going off.  Your blood pressure is rising almost as quickly as the number of messages in your e-mail inbox.
 
When you finally answer the phone on the tenth ring, your tone of voice gives you away.  The caller feels guilty for having called at an obviously bad time.  Then when you turn to the person at the door, your abrupt greeting sends him scurrying away mumbling an apology.  Finally, when you take your seat at the meeting, your energy level is on empty, and your attention wanders as important issues are discussed.
 
Later that night, after dinner, you find you have little time--and even less enthusiasm--to give to your kids.  You think, "Maybe if I get a couple of hours of work in before bed, I'll be caught up for tomorrow...."
 
And when you finally turn the light off at a quarter to one, you wonder why the success you've worked so hard to achieve doesn't make you feel, well, successful.  As you lie there, you think about the not-so-long-ago days when you weren't invited to high-powered meetings, the phone rang less frequently, and you weren't the first person others came to for advice. You wasted no time in climbing the ladder and achieving that rung you've always dreamed about. So why aren't you enjoying your success? Why is it that you--and the people around you--are actually suffering from it?
 
One of the common problems of today's workplace is that people are having to work harder to get more done with fewer resources. And for many, it just isn't any fun. We're busy making money, but in the process, we're sacrificing joy and a sense of meaning.  I know how it happens. Several years ago, I too was close to premature flame-out.
 
Most people would say that my problems were good ones to have: my business was so brisk that it was hard for me to keep up, my involvement as a board member of a national association offered me many new responsibilities and challenges, and I was traveling nearly non-stop.  However, as glamorous as that lifestyle sounds, I wasn't having much fun living it, and I found it increasingly more difficult to give people the attention and consideration they deserved. When the phone rang, I didn't want to answer it. I wanted to smash it. I wasn't carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders, but it did feel like a small planet. 
 
I knew that soon I would be experiencing the repercussions of others' frustration with me. (When you aren't having much fun, rest assured that neither are your clients, colleagues, friends, or family!) I wondered, "How can anyone live happily and lead effectively with so many oppressive obligations?"

When I finally stopped my frenetic pace long enough to slow down and look for an answer, I took a step back and reviewed everything I had learned from studying and working with effective leaders. I pondered all that I had read about the lives of great people. And suddenly, I was struck with an insight: The people who change the world--their companies, communities, and families--rarely act from a sense of oppressive obligation. In fact, the people we call "true leaders" almost always act from a sense of incredible opportunity.
 
They don't change the world because they have to. They change the world because they want to.
 
I don't think Mother Teresa woke up even one morning and complained, "Oh, Lord, not more lepers!" She did some of the hardest work on the planet, and she seemed to have more fun than we who sit in plush, air-conditioned offices. How can that be?
 
It's a matter of perspective. When we feel harried and pressured, we tend to look at our circumstances as oppressive obligations. On the other hand, those few who live happily and lead effectively view such circumstances as incredible opportunities. To put it simply: Leaders frame their lives differently.
 
When I learned from the example of the world's great leaders and reframed my work and life, things immediately turned around. I began to see circumstances as opportunities rather than obligations, and it has made all the difference. When the phone rings now, I respond differently--I view each call as an opportunity to serve, earn, influence, network, learn, encourage, or teach. The difference isn't in the caller or the purpose for the call; the difference is in my response.
 
There isn't much I absolutely have to do in life. Sure, I have a commitment to provide for my wife and son, but I could still meet that commitment if I greatly reduced my current workload or even changed careers.  My colleague, Ian Percy, has often said that his family doesn't really want all the money and trappings of affluence. They would gladly live in a trailer--as long as they had him, his time, and attention. I'm sure most families would echo that sentiment.
 
As you read this, perhaps you're facing dire circumstances. Foreclosure may threaten, a primary relationship may be on the brink of disaster, or you may be wondering how you're going to put food on the table. I would never make light of such serious situations, but--and please think about this carefully--even in the worst circumstance lies an opportunity. It is the opportunity to overcome, to save, to improve. I know many highly successful individuals who have faced similar situations, and worse. But meeting the challenge to overcome and learn from these situations has, without fail, greatly enriched their lives. In their darkest hour, they saw and pursued that faint glimmer of light called opportunity.
 
To remind myself of this important life principle, I keep a sticky note over my desk. On it are three words: "Obligation or Opportunity." That simple sentiment represents one of the most important choices I make every day, every hour. Like you, I want to make a positive impact on the world around me. I want to add to the lives of others, not just pass by them unnoticed. I want to be confident that my efforts do more than earn a living, that they help create a better life for myself, my family, and the clients I serve. And now I realize that the chance to accomplish this goal is not an obligation, but the greatest opportunity of all.

Copyright 2002 Used with permission of the author Mark Sanborn, CSP, CPAE is a professional speaker and president of Sanborn & Associates, Inc., an idea studio for leadership development. He is a member of the exclusive Speakers Hall of Fame. For additional articles, resources and ideas, visit his website at www.marksanborn.com or call 800.650.3343.

Article courtesy of Bob ‘Idea Man’ Hooey & Ideas At Work! Visit our webiste: http://www.ideaman.net/ for more downloadable Business Enhancement Success Thinking series of articles by some of North America’s top speakers and experts. If you’ve enjoyed this article, please let the author know, and tell them you read it on http://www.ideaman.net/ Bookmark this site as we add new articles as they are received.